The pair are said to have traveled as homeless undocumented immigrants to avoid detection by LA County authorities and the lidless eye of Gavin Newsom who watched the land unceasingly.

Due to heavy smoke inhalation, the halfling known as Frodo reportedly collapsed on Mulholland Drive, forcing his companion to assist him in completing the quest. "I can't carry it for you," Sam said, referring to the One Ring, "but I can call an Uber!" Unfortunately for the fledgling hobbits, Mulholland Drive is currently closed to traffic.

The One Ring, one of several rings of power, is said to have been forged in the Santa Monica Mountains in the last age as part of a dark plan to control the other rings and assert dominance over the lives of Men. Now, because Frodo and Sam are so near their goal, Gavin Newsom's eye has become piercingly bright as it scours the land for any sign of the hobbits.

But all was lost for Newsom, as the One Ring is reported to have finally been destroyed.

"It's done!" the halfling known as Frodo allegedly said after the One Ring was bitten off his finger by a homeless tweaker and cast into the roaring flames. As California exploded around them, the pair accepted their fate, waiting for the encroaching flames to devour them.

"I'm glad you're with me, Sam, here at the end of all things," said Frodo.

At publishing time, James Woods had arrived in a helicopter to rescue the hobbits at the final moment when all hope seemed lost.