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SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: July 6, 2025 Edition
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Made primarily of polycarbonate and stainless steel, the Xpoovv is reportedly compatible with any Apple or Android phone that has a screen size between 4.5 and 6.5 inches, and a maximum body size of 6.25 x 2.7 x 0.35 inches (159 x 69 x 9 mm).
The phone is placed in the lower right-hand corner of the housing, where four spring-loaded pushbuttons sit above its screen. When the user presses any of those buttons from outside the housing, their conductive silicone pads contact the screen, activating camera functions within the Xpoovv app. That app is also used to initially establish the make and model of phone, so that the onscreen camera controls line up with the buttons.
After the phone is sealed inside the Xpoovv, an included hand pump is used to draw the air out from inside of the housing. If the resulting vacuum is subsequently broken – allowing water to seep in – an air pressure sensor will detect it, triggering an integrated warning light to start flashing red.
The Xpoovv tips the scales at a claimed 360 grams (12.7 oz), and is rated to a maximum depth of 40 meters (130 ft). A screw mount on its exterior allows accessories such as lights or a handle to be added.