WASHINGTON, D.C. — The United States House of Representatives canceled all scheduled votes and went on break to recuperate from a long, tough stretch of not doing anything.

Speaker of the House Mike Johnson confirmed that weeks of constant thumb-twiddling had left representatives exhausted and in dire need of a vacation.

"It's been over two months straight of now of waking up, not working, and going to bed. I'm fried," Johnson told reporters. "You can only walk around aimlessly for so many hours before you just hit a wall; and I mean that literally and figuratively. I've run into the Capitol wall so many times because I was lost in a daydream, just thinking about soup or whatever. We clearly need some R&R."