Federal Law Barring Non-Citizen Voting Ruled Unconstitutional

US District Judge David Leibowitz dismissed a case against Florida non-citizen resident Chelsea Cox for voting in the 2020 election on the grounds that "under the US Constitution each state has the right to decide who will be allowed to vote in elections. Article I, Section 4 explicitly states that 'The Times, Places and Manner of holding Elections for Senators and Representatives, shall be prescribed in each State by the Legislature thereof.' There is no requirement regarding citizenship mentioned. Therefore it is my ruling that the federal government lacks the authority to prosecute Ms. Cox for illegally voting. The authority to prosecute rests with the state governments who may choose or decline to prosecute."

Sen. Charles Schumer (D-NY) called the ruling "a godsend for the Democratic Party. Every blue state can decline to enforce state laws that make it illegal for non-citizens to vote. Our Party's sanctuary policies have been vindicated. All the immigrants we have invited to enjoy our protection can now be issued ballots they can cast to reward the Democratic Party for what we've done for them."

Ms. Cox entered the US in 1999 as a tourist and remained after her visa expired. She later used a fraudulent US Virgin Islands birth certificate to obtain a Florida driver's license and used both of these documents to register to vote in 2012 and cast ballots between 2012 and 2020. She was only charged for her 2020 ballot because the statute of limitations had run out on her previous election crimes.

Department of Homeland Security General Counsel James Percival called the ruling "absurd. What Judge Leibowitz omitted from his reading of the Constitution's Article I, Section 4 was what followed the clause he used to justify his outrageous decision. Namely, what he excluded was 'but the Congress may at any time by Law make or alter such Regulations, except as to the Places of chusing Senators.' The 1996 Illegal Immigration Reform and Immigrant Responsibility Act was a fully constitutional exercise of federal authority to alter the regulations to require that voters be citizens. Further, Ms Cox's devious actions to evade this law demonstrated a knowing criminal intent to violate the law. If this kind of behavior cannot be prosecuted our republic will be overthrown by invaders who do not share our founders' hope to 'secure the blessings of liberty to ourselves and our posterity.'"

In other Florida news, Judge Diana Tennis quit her job on the 9th Circuit Court to avoid disciplinary action for making more than 900 political donations totaling $29,000 to Democratic candidates and groups. The Florida Code of Judicial Conduct prohibits sitting judges from making political donations. The Judicial Qualifications Commission (JQC) called Tennis "far and away the most prolific offender both in terms of total dollars and number of contributions." Tennis' timely resignation will prevent her from being fined or losing the publicly-funded portion of her pension. Her latest financial disclosure form shows she has a net worth of nearly $3.8 million.

Iran Urges Americans to Vote Democrat

The Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps (IRGC) wrote a 26 page "open letter" to the American people saying "Islam requires believers to stand up to tyrants. By electing Democrats who will oust Trump from office the people of America will prove themselves worthy of membership in our faith and will not be killed after an Islamic regime supplants the evil, deceitful, and violent politicians who are responsible for America's current state."

The letter went on to assert that "the defeat of Zionist candidates by democratic socialists in this year's Democratic primary elections shows that more Americans are aligning themselves with the values and beliefs that Iran has been espousing and promoting around the world since our triumph in the 1979 revolution, the kidnapping of the members of the US embassy, and our righteous jihad against all infidels who resist becoming part of the Islamic Ummah. Americans who take action against Trump and his minions need not feel threatened by our promise of 'death to America' that your media have been broadcasting everywhere. The benevolence of our Supreme Leader will ensure you are spared."

IRGC spokesman Hossein Mohebbi added "we find much encouragement from the polls that show Democrats will take control of the House and Senate in America and will restore the magnanimous policies that prevailed under Presidents Obama and Biden. Both of these previous leaders saw that modern America has slipped into a pit of immorality and crime. Wives disobey their husbands. Homosexuals lure righteous men into sin. Mothers are empowered to murder their unborn children. Christianity has lost its power to inspire good behavior. Islam is the answer to the rot that pervades the American way of life. Electing an Islam-friendly Democratic majority is the most humane way to end America's decline."

The letter ended with an invitation for "Americans who have an open mind toward Iran to make a short visit to our country to see for themselves that their real enemy is Trump and his Republican henchmen. Almost everything Americans are told about Iran—that it's a dictatorship, that the government is massacring its own people, that Iran is scientifically backward and economically bankrupt, that the people have given up on their government, etc.—is a lie. We don't have 'no kings' protests here. Every good Iranian supports our government. The same sort of paradise awaits every American who converts to Islam. We guarantee it."

In related news, it appears that the Trump Administration's "Operation Economic Outcast" may be working. Oil exports from the Persian gulf region are almost back to where they were before the US-Iran war began. Iranian exports of oil have diminished to close to zero. Domestic opposition to the regime has taken up arms against the IRGC. The American media that just a few weeks ago were declaring Iran the victor in the war are now noticing that "Iran's choke hold on the Strait of Hormuz has broken down, its currency has hit a record low, and the war has eroded the country's economic stability."

Fauci's Dangerous Ebola Research

As the former master mind of the COVID medical atrocities, Dr. Anthony Fauci's reputation for malice and/or blunders seems well established. However, recently uncovered documents detailing his dangerous National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases (NIAID) funded research during the Obama Administration showed he experimented with aerosolized Ebola. Unlike COVID which posed a risk of death of around 1% for all who contracted the disease, Ebola kills about 50% of those who get the disease. Fortunately, Ebola is not easily spread. Contact with the blood or other body fluids of the Ebola sufferer is the main method of transmission to others.

Dr. Fauci's genius idea was to see if Ebola could be transmitted through the air--like COVID or the flu. So, he arranged to fund a study to see if this could be accomplished. Test groups of monkeys were exposed to aerosolized Ebola. Some of the monkeys were vaccinated. Some were not. The vaccinated monkeys fared worse than the unvaccinated. Since Ebola is a significant threat in Africa, results of this test were shared with US embassy officials in Guinea, Liberia, and Sierra Leone.

Sharing this information was what upset Dr. Fauci. "This should have been a classified experiment," he wrote in his diary. "The foolish DOD people sent the data to the FDA and then circulated it to various embassies including those in West Africa where we are about to engage in a much larger DSD vaccine trial for Ebola with humans being exposed to aerosol transmission. To make matters worse, DOD mentioned these experiments were funded by a NIAID grant. Apparently, DOD had forgotten that President Obama had expressly forbidden the NIAID to fund such dangerous research."

In related news, Florida Attorney General James Uthmeier is now suing Pfizer because the company told consumers its COVID-19 vaccine was safe, but did not disclose potential risks, including heart inflammation and other serious adverse events. A spokesperson for Pfizer rejected AG Uthmeier's claims, saying "the representations made by Pfizer about its COVID-19 vaccine were verified by the world's foremost man of science, Dr. Anthony Fauci, who declared our vaccine to be both safe and effective. His effort to seize the $80 billion in profits made from our COVID vaccines in order to compensate those he alleges have been harmed by us will not succeed."

Prime Minister Considers Rejoining the European Union

United Kingdom Prime Minister Andy Burnham is convinced that "leaving the European Union (EU) was a mistake. Voters thought they could leave and have our country revert to the way it was before, but that hasn't happened. 'Merry Olde England' is being inundated with hoards of indigent immigrants illegally entering our island and tapping into our welfare system. It's a fiscally unsustainable drain on our limited resources that will eventually bankrupt our country."

"Things are no longer as simple as they were when we faced the threat of Nazi armies across the Chanel," the PM remembered. "We were a united people then with a leadership determined to remain independent and free. That's no longer the case. During the war, regular bombing by German aircraft and U-Boat attacks on our overseas commerce bolstered our strength to resist. But dinghies carrying unarmed Muslims don't seem to justify the same sort of resistance. We can't very well have our navy shoot at them or ram them. We'd be charged with crimes against humanity. While there is a supposed agreement with France that should enable us to send these invaders back, the French aren't really living up to this agreement."

"Our present situation is untenable," Burnham argued. "Polls show most voters want to expel these uninvited guests. Labour will be punished at the polls if we don't get these people out of the country. However, if we rejoin the EU we will no longer be responsible for keeping these people out. By EU law, these people would be entitled to go anywhere in the EU. There would be nothing my government could legally do to prevent this migration into the UK. Labour would be off-the-hook, so to speak. The Reform and Restore Parties would be neutralized. I think where we are isn't good enough. Going back into the EU is the only solution I can come up with."

Reform UK leader Nigel Farage responded, saying "Andy Burnham demonstrated to voters that his word means absolutely nothing. It's now obvious 'Open Borders Burnham' wants a return to freedom of movement throughout the EU. If he gets his way, we will open our borders to nearly half a billion people. Voters need to punish Labour at the next election for this betrayal."

Meanwhile in London, the Masjid Daar Al-Hadeeth Mosque has been broadcasting sermons advocating wife beating and throwing gays off tall buildings. This would seem to put the mosque afoul of the restrictions on tax-exempt religions making political statements. The Charity Commission, the government agency responsible for enforcing these restrictions, called the situation "prickly. On the one hand these sermons seem disrespectful toward women and gays--both protected classes of persons--and hence a violation of our hate-speech codes. On the other hand, these sermons are based on foundational principles of Islamic theology. Trying to silence them would infringe upon their religious freedom. We cannot envision a way out of this predicament."