Or at least, to make everyone a little bit less un-whole.

As Bloomberg reports, Turkey will start payments to investors caught in the fund crisis. The Capital Markets Board (SPK) approved interim payments of up to 1 million lira (about $20,400) per eligible investor in funds run by Tera, Pusula, Atlas and Hedef, calculated on each investor's "net investment" as determined by the Central Securities Depository (MKK). Below a million lira, you get your money back; above it, you get a million and a place in the queue. Money market funds get paid first, the rest in descending order of investor count, with A1 Capital, Bulls and Pardus funds slotted in afterward. The interim payments are advances against whatever the liquidation ultimately recovers, which is a polite way of saying nobody knows yet.

Finance Minister Mehmet Simsek, meanwhile, insists that "we are not talking about a systemic problem," pointing out that public debt is just 22% of GDP and the budget deficit is "roughly half the developing country average." All true, and also not much consolation to the investor who, as Turkish Minute recounts, sold her Istanbul home before moving to Portugal, parked the proceeds in stock funds as an inflation hedge, and has watched her account fall ~90% while being unable to withdraw even that. "It is melting away before my eyes, and I can't do anything about it."

The "please give it back" account

The payouts are the boring part. The truly bizarre part is how Turkey - long the biggest banana in crowded bus of capital markets banana republics - plans to refill the pot.

Alongside the interim payments, the regulator announced the creation of "Voluntary Return Accounts" at Birlesik Fon Bankasi "for individuals seeking to return excessive profits obtained from pre-liquidation share sales." Proceeds will be funneled to the fund liquidation estates and on to Ziraat and Isbank for distribution to investors. A separate "General Share Refund Account" has been opened for anyone who would like to hand back profits from speculative trading in listed stocks, and a new fund inside the deposit insurer TMSF will receive assets later determined to be proceeds of crime (details here).

To summarize: Turkey's plan to compensate 455,000 losers is, in part, to ask the winners nicely.

Bloomberg's Eric Balchunas summed it up best: "Turkey wants investors who made a lot of money in market to gift excessive returns to the other investors who lost $20b."